That's what friends are for — #72

People having fulfilling friendships has declined dramatically in the last thirty years. For example, in 1990, 40% of men and 28% of women reported having more than ten close friends. Today, those numbers are 15% and 11%, respectively. And in 2021, 10% of women and 15% of men reported having no friends at all — not counting relatives.

To me, this trend is worrying for two reasons. First, life is more fulfilling when you have good friends. Some argue that this is the point of it all. And sadly, so many people miss out on this experience. Second, having friends makes you more resilient—and with the world increasingly uncertain, this resilience is highly needed.

If you want to increase your ability to deal with uncertainty, focus on making friends.

Good social relationships are a winning strategy in life, tied to greater psychological and physical well-being. Studies have even shown that having great relationships at one period can predict less depression later on. That sounds almost like a vaccine.

So, it’s no surprise that friendships also help improve our resiliency. Partly, this is because friends help us feel less distressed when life is hard. Friends hold space, listen, and offer to beat up your bully or voodoo your boss. And they make us feel less alone.

If there were one thing I would like to tell my younger self, it would be that life isn’t getting easier. Things never start to make sense. We get better at dealing with the complicated. Friends help.

Anna

The United States is moving three Native American villages threatened by climate change

CLIMATE CHANGE / HUMAN IMPACT

The United States will spend $135 million to relocate communities facing the threat of climate change. The effort is one of the United States' most extensive to relocate communities facing an urgent threat from climate change.

Three Native tribes, two in Alaska and one in Washington State, will get $25 million each to move away from coastal areas or rivers. And eight more tribes will get $5 million each to plan for relocation. These tribes are just part of a growing number of communities in the US that are facing a ticking clock as the effects of climate change pose a severe risk to their homes.

The three tribes that get most of the funding are already well into the expensive process of moving elsewhere, often leaving areas their families have called home for centuries. Funding has been a significant obstacle in getting this done. The total cost of moving the Quinault Indian Nation's two villages from their spot at the junction of the Quinault River and the Pacific Ocean and about a mile uphill is estimated to be about $100 million. The money will help them move their community buildings onto higher ground and away from rising waters. The expectation is that homes will follow.

Relocating whole communities – managed retreat – is one of the most aggressive forms of adaptation to climate change. Despite high costs initially, relocation may save money in the long run by reducing the damage from future disasters and the cost of rebuilding afterwards.

Hate speech on Twitter has increased massively under Musk, according to two reports

TECHNOLOGY / HATE SPEECH

No surprise to those still on the platform, but the volume of hate speech on Twitter has grown dramatically under Elon Musk's reign. The daily use of the n-word under Musk is threefold the 2022 average, and the use of slurs against gay men and trans persons is up 58% and 62%, respectively, according to research from The Center for Countering Digital Hate. Additionally, the Anti-Defamation League said its data shows "both an increase in antisemitic content on the platform and a decrease in the moderation of antisemitic posts."

Imrad Ahmed, at the Center for Countering Digital Hate, said that Musk had "sent up the bat signal to every kind of racist, misogynist and homophobe that Twitter was open for business, and they have reacted accordingly."

At the same time, Musk declared last month that "hate speech impressions" had dramatically fallen on the platform since he took over. This a remarkable claim since Musk has laid off and chased away hundreds of employees who were needed to enforce content moderation policies. Policies he has personally criticised.

Musk has already rolled back Twitter's previous Covid misinformation rules and said he plans to grant "general amnesty" to people previously banned for violating Twitter rules. Also, he wants to roll back many of the content moderation policies in place when he took over the company. He wants speech prohibited only when it incites violence or violates the law.

At the same time, Twitter suspended Kanye West's Twitter account on Friday after Elon Musk said it violated their rules against incitement to violence. The tweet causing the suspension contained an altered image of the Star of David with a swastika inside. However, West was one of the accounts allowed back on the platform just a week ago under Elon Musk's idea of "general amnesty" for previously suspended accounts.

"I tried my best. Despite that, he again violated our rule against incitement to violence. Account will be suspended," Musk tweeted about the suspension of West.

I'm starting to feel like Elon Musk must be a computer simulation. It is just all too weird. Unfortunately, his incompetence is also dangerous.

The "situationship" is the dating trend of the year, according to Tinder

DATING / TRENDS

Tinder recently joined the parade of platforms releasing yearly stats. One of the dating trends this year is the "situationship" — more than a hookup, but not quite a traditional relationship, a casual - yet clearly defined - relationship that came to rise in 2022. Tinder saw a 49% increase in members adding the phrase to their bios, with young singles saying they prefer situationships to develop a relationship with less pressure.

This year, star signs were the most popular descriptor added to Tinder profiles after smoking preferences, pets and diet. Leos, Scorpios and Cancers were the signs most likely to include their sign on their profiles, and surprisingly, daters are the most likely to match with the same zodiac sign.

While it might not be surprising that "sense of humour" was one of the top qualities daters were searching for in potential hookup partners, something stood out to me: Many swipers also want someone who's into politics. Almost half of the singles (47%) said that finding out who they're dating doesn't vote would be a dealbreaker. Three-quarters (75%) of daters were looking for a match respectful of or invested in social issues. So many Tinder members added the Ukrainian flag to their profiles in support of the country this year that it ranked within the top 10 trending emojis on the app at one point.

Also, the creative date activities we took to during the pandemic are here to stay. Mentions of "Picnics" (43%), "Mini Golf" (56%) and "Drive-Ins" (34%) in Tinder bios all increased this year, suggesting that singles are meeting up for more than just dinner and drinks. Instead, they're opting for less traditional, more authentic and (sometimes) sober ways to get to know one another. Alcohol-free dates have become a way for singles to be themselves and challenge traditional dating norms. Over 25% of the surveyed singles on Tinder said they drink less on dates compared with last year, and when describing their drinking habits, 72% of Tinder members said they don't drink or only drink occasionally on their profiles.

Double-check the headlines

Just making sure you didn't miss any major world events this week.

• The Prime Ministers of New Zeeland, Jacinda Ardern, and Finland, Sanna Marin, shut down a reporter's sexist question about their ages.

• The number of babies born in Japan this year is below last year's record low, creating demographic challenges as the population shrinks and ages.

• Kanye West will not buy the "free speech" social media platform Parler after he praised Adolf Hitler and the Nazis during an interview with Alex Jones.

• The world's largest active volcano, Mauna Loa, in Hawaii, is erupting for the first time since 1984.

• The G7 nations and Australia joined the European Union on Friday in adopting a $60-per-barrel price cap on Russian oil to prevent price spikes and starve President Vladimir Putin of funding for his war in Ukraine.

• China is lifting its COVID-19 restrictions due to heavy protests despite near-record numbers of cases.

• On Saturday, a 5.7-magnitude earthquake hit Indonesia’s main island of Java, shaking the same town devastated by another quake last month that left more than 330 people dead.

• Balenciaga had ads showing children holding teddy bears in bondage gear and had to apologise after heavy criticism – from Kim Kardashian and many others.

One long

The New York Times

If It Was Good Enough for Socrates, It’s Good Enough for Sophomores

Most students today dread oral exams — it gives them anxiety.  Still, an oral exam is one of the best ways to display what we know about a topic and to help students learn for the long term, not only for the test. So why are they not used more often?

Five short

1. Read

The 10 Best Books of 2022. The New York Times Book Review staff chose this year's standout fiction and nonfiction. I have an ex who used to order most of the books on this list every year, and it was always a great moment when the big box arrived ahead of the Christmas holidays. It made me read some great things I would not have found otherwise.

2. Watch

We are entering the Christmas Movie season. Reddit users are currently debating the best Christmas movie of all time. Due to Reddit's rating functionality, users are usually quite good at getting a representative outcome. So, I'm sure you'll find some recommendations to watch before the holidays. (I think my recommendation would be the animated Netflix original Klaus).

3. Remember

It seems like friendships are the theme for this newsletter issue: I encourage you to send your friends holiday cards this year. Now is the time to buy them.

4. Change

This guide from The Guardian can help you change to non-toxic kitchen supplies — for example, by changing plastics for wood and glass.

5. Try

The Subreddit Books That Feel Like This give you book recommendations based on a picture.